Nurturing Your Mind, Body and Soul

Hi I'm Fatima, and this is my story...

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I was 25 when I had my first son, and 27 when I had my second. As soon as I held them for the first time, I looked into their big brown eyes and promised myself I would be the best mom, the mom that shows up - to all their sports games, their performances, and anything they felt proud of, no matter how trivial they were. When they were in school, I was the volunteer & fundraiser coordinator and I was the mom who was there at all their sport games with snacks for everyone. I ran a lunch program with another mom where we worked with our community's local restaurants to bring lunches to the classrooms. I spent weekends doing little DIY projects with them. I spent hours teaching them important life skills, and I spent sleepless nights making sure they were okay.

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And then, they grew up.

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This was so hard to accept at first. My children who needed me for everything did not really need me like that anymore. That's when it hit me...I've been so occupied being a mom that, outside of being a mom, I didn't really know who I was. I was also so caught up trying to be the best mom, wife, and daughter, that outside of all those titles that I had, I didn't know myself. This was a very lonely time in my life where I felt alone and empty. I hated how I felt, but, something good did come out of it. Time spent alone really did help me to connect with myself and it helped me remember all the things I loved to do that did not involve being a mom…

 

There was one thing I had always wanted to do, but never had the time to do - dance!

I remembered that I love music - I love listening to music, I love singing, and I absolutely love to dance. So I started to reconnect with my friends, made new friends and started going Latin dancing. I had so much fun learning new moves and just dancing the night away...but the feeling of emptiness didn't go away. The thought of why I was continuously feeling like this was constantly in the back of my mind. That's when I realized, the emptiness I was feeling was from a lack of feeling accomplished. I wanted something of my own to feel accomplished and feel independent and that’s when I decided I wanted to lead a life where I felt fulfilled, I felt independent and at peace with myself...

 

Then my mother got sick - she was diagnosed with dementia and it was devastating for the entire family. I dedicated the time that I could, driving 3 hours out of town, to help my dad take care of her on the weekends. After a while, she became bedridden, and eventually passed away in 2021... that's when it all hit me like a truck. My mother lived her whole life taking care of her family and never did anything for herself - her family's needs came ahead of her own. It's admirable, but it saddened me to know that her life probably ended with her feeling the same loneliness and emptiness that I was feeling. Nobody talks about how mothers feel - throughout generations, our sacrifices are just expected, our dreams overlooked, and our needs suppressed.

I loved my mom, but I did not want to live the same way she lived. That's when I decided to embark on my journey of self discovery, self care, self love, and figuring out how I wanted to live out my future..

 

That's how "Modern Wo-Mom" came to be - my third baby, my business. Through Modern Wo-Mom, I launched my business, "Array of Treasures" where my goal is to share with you all some of my fantastic finds that you can buy for yourself. While I was happy to celebrate International Woman's Day this year, the approach of Mother's Day has resulted in me thinking of my mom a lot. I've been feeling very emotional thinking about how many women and moms lose themselves. To help reflect upon this journey of ours as mothers and women, I have been tirelessly working on creating an inspirational journal, containing some of the inspirational quotes that have motivated me to move forward and never give up.

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Dear moms and women, you are not alone, and it's never ever too late, to follow your dreams - no matter your age or stage in life. With a positive mindset accompanied by a will to never give up, you can accomplish anything. Isn't that what we teach our children?

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My "Modern Wo-mom's Inspirational Journal" is available on Amazon. I am looking forwarding to sharing it with you all.